Ego States
What are Ego States?
Ego States refer to three distinct modes of thinking, feeling, and behaving, categorized as Parent, Adult, and Child. A key concept in Transactional Analysis, each ego state represents a different aspect of our personality that influences our interactions and decision-making processes.
The Basic Idea
You’ve likely experienced a communication breakdown before. When interacting with someone, something inevitably goes wrong and results in conflict. When you later reflect on the interaction, you don’t even know why you reacted a certain way. ‘That doesn’t seem like something I would do,’ you think. If our communication patterns improve as we mature, why do we sometimes act so out of character?
Transactional analysis is both a theory of personality and a form of psychoanalysis for personal growth.1 Essentially, it studies our social interactions and focuses on how we can improve them. We all have transactions with other people, during which we unconsciously activate one of our three ego states. Ego states refer to the ways that we think, feel and behave, changing across time and contexts. According to the theory of transactional analysis, people have three ego states:
- Parent: Parent is a state in which people behave, feel, and think in ways influenced by their parents. It involves either interpreting or responding to situations similarly to how one’s parents did, rooted in the past.
- Adult: Adult is the ability to think and act based on the present: the ultimate goal of transactional analysis in the context of therapy is to strengthen the Adult.
- Child: Child is a state in which people behave, feel, and think similarly to how they did as a child, rooted in the past.
Awareness requires living in the here and now, not in the ‘elsewhere,’ the past or the future.
– Eric Berne, psychiatrist and creator of transactional analysis
About the Authors
Dan Pilat
Dan is a Co-Founder and Managing Director at The Decision Lab. He is a bestselling author of Intention - a book he wrote with Wiley on the mindful application of behavioral science in organizations. Dan has a background in organizational decision making, with a BComm in Decision & Information Systems from McGill University. He has worked on enterprise-level behavioral architecture at TD Securities and BMO Capital Markets, where he advised management on the implementation of systems processing billions of dollars per week. Driven by an appetite for the latest in technology, Dan created a course on business intelligence and lectured at McGill University, and has applied behavioral science to topics such as augmented and virtual reality.
Dr. Sekoul Krastev
Sekoul is a Co-Founder and Managing Director at The Decision Lab. He is a bestselling author of Intention - a book he wrote with Wiley on the mindful application of behavioral science in organizations. A decision scientist with a PhD in Decision Neuroscience from McGill University, Sekoul's work has been featured in peer-reviewed journals and has been presented at conferences around the world. Sekoul previously advised management on innovation and engagement strategy at The Boston Consulting Group as well as on online media strategy at Google. He has a deep interest in the applications of behavioral science to new technology and has published on these topics in places such as the Huffington Post and Strategy & Business.
