gift giving

The Behavioral Science Guide to Gift Giving

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Dec 21, 2020

“The Gift of The Magi” is my all-time favorite short story. Written by O. Henry, it tells the story of a young lady, Della, and her husband Jim. Della wants to buy a good gift for her husband, but she is short of money. So she visits a hairdresser, who cuts her long locks of beautiful hair and pays her $20 in return. She uses the money to buy an expensive gold chain for husband’s favorite pocket watch.

When Jim comes home that evening, she gives him the chain and admits to selling her hair in order to be able to afford it. In return, Jim gifts her a set of ornamental combs for her once-long hair and admits to selling his pocket watch to get money for the combs. In other words, both of their gifts are of no use to the recipients—and yet, they don’t complain, because the incident demonstrates how much they love each other.

My other favorite thing to do is to create contemporary versions of classics. So, here’s “The Gift of Magi: Reloaded.”

This is the story of young Della and her husband Jim. Della wants to buy a good gift for her husband. After a few hours of browsing for inspiration through Pinterest and Instagram and reading through listicles with titles such as “50 things to get for your boyfriend this holiday season,” she decides to give him the latest PS4 game, Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War.

To be able to afford the overpriced game, she decides to get rid of the FitBit she had been gifted the previous Christmas. Given its unused, brand-new status, she manages to sell it for a handsome amount on eBay and proceeds to buy the game. In the evening, when Jim returns home, she excitedly hands him a copy of the the new Call of Duty. He informs her that he has upgraded his PS4 to the shiny, new PS5, making the game unusable. Then he proceeds to gift her a FitBit premium subscription, which he thought would go well with his gift from the previous year.

That Christmas, Jim plays his PS5 for 24 hours straight. Della researches online for ways to cancel Fitbit subscriptions.

What’s my point? Buying gifts is hard, and we need science to help us.

References

  1. Schwartz, B. (1967). The social psychology of the gift. American journal of Sociology73(1), 1-11.
  2. Dunn, E. W., Huntsinger, J., Lun, J., & Sinclair, S. (2008). The gift of similarity: How good and bad gifts influence relationships. Social Cognition26(4), 469-481.
  3. Gino, F., & Flynn, F. J. (2011). Give them what they want: The benefits of explicitness in gift exchange. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology47(5), 915-922.
  4. Flynn, F. J., & Adams, G. S. (2009). Money can’t buy love: Asymmetric beliefs about gift price and feelings of appreciation. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology45(2), 404-409.

About the Author

A smiling woman in a sleeveless pink dress stands against a red brick wall next to a metal fence. Part of a red sign is visible in the top right corner.

Preeti Kotamarthi

Staff Writer · Grab

Preeti Kotamarthi is the Behavioral Science Lead at Grab, the leading ride-hailing and mobile payments app in South East Asia. She has set up the behavioral practice at the company, helping product and design teams understand customer behavior and build better products. She completed her Masters in Behavioral Science from the London School of Economics and her MBA in Marketing from FMS Delhi. With more than 6 years of experience in the consumer products space, she has worked in a range of functions, from strategy and marketing to consulting for startups, including co-founding a startup in the rural space in India. Her main interest lies in popularizing behavioral design and making it a part of the product conceptualization process.

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