Why do men think that women are always flirting with them?

Sexual Overperception Bias

, explained.
Bias

What is Sexual Overperception Bias?

The sexual overperception bias relates to the tendency to overperceive another individual’s sexual interest in oneself. The bias predominantly occurs in men, where they are more likely to overestimate a woman’s sexual interest while women are more likely to underestimate a man’s.

Where it occurs

It might be easy to recall an optimistic male friend or acquaintance who thinks every female waitress is flirting with him. Every time a woman so much as smiles at him, he jumps to promiscuous conclusions.

While the man’s “I think she’s got a thing for me,” perceptive tendency is a common stereotype that has made an appearance in countless romantic comedies and sitcoms, there is a rich layer of evolutionary theory and experimental evidence beneath the gendered cliché.

Related Biases

Sources

  1. Lee, A. J., Sidari, M. J., Murphy, S. C., Sherlock, J. M., & Zietsch, B. P. (2020). Sex differences in misperceptions of sexual interest can be explained by sociosexual orientation and men projecting their own interest onto women. Psychological science, 31(2), 184-192.
  2. Howell, E. C., Etchells, P. J., & Penton-Voak, I. S. (2012). The sexual overperception bias is associated with sociosexuality. Personality and Individual Differences, 53(8), 1012-1016.
  3. Schmitt, D. P. (2005). Sociosexuality from Argentina to Zimbabwe: A 48-nation study of sex, culture, and strategies of human mating. Behavioral and Brain Sciences, 28(2), 247.
  4. Jacques-Tiura, A. J., Abbey, A., Parkhill, M. R., & Zawacki, T. (2007). Why do some men misperceive women’s sexual intentions more frequently than others do? An application of the confluence model. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 33(11), 1467-1480.
  5. Haselton, M. G., & Buss, D. M. (2000). Error management theory: A new perspective on biases in cross-sex mind reading. Journal of personality and social psychology, 78(1), 81.
  6. Bendixen, M. (2014). Evidence of Systematic Bias in Sexual Over-and Underperception of Naturally Occurring Events: A Direct Replication of in a more Gender-Equal Culture. Evolutionary Psychology, 12(5), 147470491401200510.
  7. Feldblum, C. R., & Lipnic, V. A. (2016). Select Task Force on the Study of Harassment in the Workplace (U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission). Retrieved from https://www.eeoc.gov/select-task-force-study-harassment-workplace
  8. Abbey, A. (1982). Sex differences in attributions for friendly behavior: Do males misperceive females’ friendliness?. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 42(5), 830.
  9. Barrett, L. F. (2018, May 11). Why Body Language Isn’t Sexual Consent, According to Science. Retrieved from https://time.com/5274505/metoo-verbal-nonverbal-consent-cosby-schneiderman/
  10. Perilloux, C., Easton, J. A., & Buss, D. M. (2012). The misperception of sexual interest. Psychological Science, 23(2), 146-151.

About the Authors

A man in a blue, striped shirt smiles while standing indoors, surrounded by green plants and modern office decor.

Dan Pilat

Dan is a Co-Founder and Managing Director at The Decision Lab. He is a bestselling author of Intention - a book he wrote with Wiley on the mindful application of behavioral science in organizations. Dan has a background in organizational decision making, with a BComm in Decision & Information Systems from McGill University. He has worked on enterprise-level behavioral architecture at TD Securities and BMO Capital Markets, where he advised management on the implementation of systems processing billions of dollars per week. Driven by an appetite for the latest in technology, Dan created a course on business intelligence and lectured at McGill University, and has applied behavioral science to topics such as augmented and virtual reality.

A smiling man stands in an office, wearing a dark blazer and black shirt, with plants and glass-walled rooms in the background.

Dr. Sekoul Krastev

Sekoul is a Co-Founder and Managing Director at The Decision Lab. He is a bestselling author of Intention - a book he wrote with Wiley on the mindful application of behavioral science in organizations. A decision scientist with a PhD in Decision Neuroscience from McGill University, Sekoul's work has been featured in peer-reviewed journals and has been presented at conferences around the world. Sekoul previously advised management on innovation and engagement strategy at The Boston Consulting Group as well as on online media strategy at Google. He has a deep interest in the applications of behavioral science to new technology and has published on these topics in places such as the Huffington Post and Strategy & Business.

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