Reciprocity
The Basic Idea
Have you ever opened your mailbox to find a small plush panda toy or a ribbon-shaped magnet, courtesy of your favourite charity? Did the small gift make you feel obligated to donate in return? Or perhaps you have a friendly neighbour who is always dropping off baked goods, so you try and babysit their children whenever you can.
But what happens when favours are not returned? When you turn down babysitting or don’t write a cheque for charity, you might feel a sense of burden, indebtedness, or guilt. On the other hand, when someone fails to repay you, you may experience a sense of betrayal. The person who hasn’t returned a favour may be perceived as distrustful or dishonourable. Successful and sustainable relationships among humans, whether they be intimate, friendly, or professional, are only formed when taking is balanced with giving.
Social psychologists and behavioural economists refer to this mutually beneficial exchange as “reciprocity.” Reciprocity is a social norm that dictates we reward the positive actions of others with equally positive behaviours. Similarly, negative actions are punished with negative behaviours.1
There is no duty more indispensable than that of returning a kindness…all men distrust one forgetful of a benefit.
– Marcus Tullius Cicero, Roman Philosopher of the 2nd and 1st centuries BC
About the Authors
Dan Pilat
Dan is a Co-Founder and Managing Director at The Decision Lab. He is a bestselling author of Intention - a book he wrote with Wiley on the mindful application of behavioral science in organizations. Dan has a background in organizational decision making, with a BComm in Decision & Information Systems from McGill University. He has worked on enterprise-level behavioral architecture at TD Securities and BMO Capital Markets, where he advised management on the implementation of systems processing billions of dollars per week. Driven by an appetite for the latest in technology, Dan created a course on business intelligence and lectured at McGill University, and has applied behavioral science to topics such as augmented and virtual reality.
Dr. Sekoul Krastev
Dr. Sekoul Krastev is a decision scientist and Co-Founder of The Decision Lab, one of the world's leading behavioral science consultancies. His team works with large organizations—Fortune 500 companies, governments, foundations and supernationals—to apply behavioral science and decision theory for social good. He holds a PhD in neuroscience from McGill University and is currently a visiting scholar at NYU. His work has been featured in academic journals as well as in The New York Times, Forbes, and Bloomberg. He is also the author of Intention (Wiley, 2024), a bestselling book on the science of human agency. Before founding The Decision Lab, he worked at the Boston Consulting Group and Google.
