The Basic Idea
Have you ever opened your mailbox to find a small plush panda toy or a ribbon-shaped magnet, courtesy of your favourite charity? Did the small gift make you feel obligated to donate in return? Or perhaps you have a friendly neighbour who is always dropping off baked goods, so you try and babysit their children whenever you can.
But what happens when favours are not returned? When you turn down babysitting or don’t write a cheque for charity, you might feel a sense of burden, indebtedness, or guilt. On the other hand, when someone fails to repay you, you may experience a sense of betrayal. The person who hasn’t returned a favour may be perceived as distrustful or dishonourable. Successful and sustainable relationships among humans, whether they be intimate, friendly, or professional, are only formed when taking is balanced with giving.
Social psychologists and behavioural economists refer to this mutually beneficial exchange as “reciprocity.” Reciprocity is a social norm that dictates we reward the positive actions of others with equally positive behaviours. Similarly, negative actions are punished with negative behaviours.1
There is no duty more indispensable than that of returning a kindness…all men distrust one forgetful of a benefit.
– Marcus Tullius Cicero, Roman Philosopher of the 2nd and 1st centuries BC
