Life Position
What are Life Positions?
Life positions are a core concept in transactional analysis and psychotherapy that reflects one's attitude toward themselves and others. There are four basic life positions, each representing a different combination of self-perception and perception of others. The positions are: "I'm OK – You're OK" (positive self and others), "I'm OK – You're Not OK" (positive self, negative others), "I'm Not OK – You're OK" (negative self, positive others), and "I'm Not OK – You're Not OK" (negative self and others).
The Basic Idea
Sometimes we behave in ways that may feel strange, even to ourselves. We can feel uneasy about something that we said or did, yet be unable to explain the reasoning behind these behaviors. Often, these situations can be influenced by the childhood experiences that shape our life positions.1
Life positions are facets of transactional analysis, a form of psychoanalysis that studies social interactions and how we can improve them.2 Transactional analysis is grounded in our ego states, which are ways that we think, feel, and behave. Ego states are informed by our experiences with our parents (Parent), our prior experiences as children (Child), or our current environments (Adult).
Life positions are the basic beliefs that we hold about ourselves and others, which are used to justify our decisions and behaviors.1 Our life positions are shaped by our early experiences, up until the age of seven, and these positions consist of whether we view ourselves and others as “OK” or “not OK”. Being “OK” refers to notions of being good or worthy; it is believed that everyone enters the world “OK”.
The indications are stronger than ever that the natural classification will be based on the patient’s position, and that this [position] is the fundamental variable of human living.
– Eric Berne in his seminal article on life positions,“Classification of positions”
About the Authors
Dan Pilat
Dan is a Co-Founder and Managing Director at The Decision Lab. He is a bestselling author of Intention - a book he wrote with Wiley on the mindful application of behavioral science in organizations. Dan has a background in organizational decision making, with a BComm in Decision & Information Systems from McGill University. He has worked on enterprise-level behavioral architecture at TD Securities and BMO Capital Markets, where he advised management on the implementation of systems processing billions of dollars per week. Driven by an appetite for the latest in technology, Dan created a course on business intelligence and lectured at McGill University, and has applied behavioral science to topics such as augmented and virtual reality.
Dr. Sekoul Krastev
Sekoul is a Co-Founder and Managing Director at The Decision Lab. He is a bestselling author of Intention - a book he wrote with Wiley on the mindful application of behavioral science in organizations. A decision scientist with a PhD in Decision Neuroscience from McGill University, Sekoul's work has been featured in peer-reviewed journals and has been presented at conferences around the world. Sekoul previously advised management on innovation and engagement strategy at The Boston Consulting Group as well as on online media strategy at Google. He has a deep interest in the applications of behavioral science to new technology and has published on these topics in places such as the Huffington Post and Strategy & Business.
