Social Norm
The Basic Idea
Although many of us often find ourselves running late in the mornings, we frequently can’t help braving the morning rush at our favorite coffee shop. In these situations, there is nothing stopping any of us from barging into the coffee shop, cutting to the front of the line and demanding that the barista get a double shot of espresso immediately. It would certainly save us time and we may avoid being late for work or school. However, imagine the potential reactions of the people in the coffeeshop. At the minimum, they would include dirty looks, and perhaps a calling out for such behavior. This is because waiting your turn, whether it is to buy a cup of coffee, get on the bus, or be seated at a restaurant, is an unspoken rule of society – a social norm.
Social norms are informal rules that guide behavior within society. Generally, they are a means of constraining behavior.1 While laws are in place to prevent crimes, social norms exist to maintain order on a smaller scale. Instead of people chaotically entering a coffee shop, forcing their way to the front and yelling their order to the barista, social norms dictate that we should stand in line and place our orders one-by-one. This system is more orderly and more efficient.
Of course, not all social norms are positive. Gender norms—the idea that behavior and expression is dictated by biological sex—are often limiting and problematic. Furthermore, because social norms are so ubiquitous and rigid, those who deviate from the norm often face consequences, which may range from mockery, to ostracization.
We internalize the social norms of our culture, many of us enforcing them and engaging in them automatically. While social norms can be useful tools for guiding our behavior and informing our decision-making, they can also be damaging. For this reason, we should learn to accept social norms only if they do more harm than good.
Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new.
– Henry David Thoreau in his book Walden (1854)
About the Authors
Dan Pilat
Dan is a Co-Founder and Managing Director at The Decision Lab. He is a bestselling author of Intention - a book he wrote with Wiley on the mindful application of behavioral science in organizations. Dan has a background in organizational decision making, with a BComm in Decision & Information Systems from McGill University. He has worked on enterprise-level behavioral architecture at TD Securities and BMO Capital Markets, where he advised management on the implementation of systems processing billions of dollars per week. Driven by an appetite for the latest in technology, Dan created a course on business intelligence and lectured at McGill University, and has applied behavioral science to topics such as augmented and virtual reality.
Dr. Sekoul Krastev
Dr. Sekoul Krastev is a decision scientist and Co-Founder of The Decision Lab, one of the world's leading behavioral science consultancies. His team works with large organizations—Fortune 500 companies, governments, foundations and supernationals—to apply behavioral science and decision theory for social good. He holds a PhD in neuroscience from McGill University and is currently a visiting scholar at NYU. His work has been featured in academic journals as well as in The New York Times, Forbes, and Bloomberg. He is also the author of Intention (Wiley, 2024), a bestselling book on the science of human agency. Before founding The Decision Lab, he worked at the Boston Consulting Group and Google.
