Being your authentic self in a hyperconnected world

Authenticity is ultimately a feeling – and an awfully good feeling at that.⁵ However, before jumping into evidence-based strategies for feeling authentic, it’s important to remember that feeling inauthentic, like an imposter even, is a part of our development that naturally occurs as we grow over the course of our lives. 

Evidence suggests that nurturing authenticity is the collective function of:⁵

1. Increasing self-awareness: Self-awareness is the cornerstone of authenticity as it is predicated on understanding and accepting the differing elements that make up our personalities - strengths, weaknesses, and contradictions alike. It’s the first step towards integrating all of the elements that make us up, into a unique and cohesive self-structure. 
2. Unbiased processing: Where self-awareness is about understanding inner worlds, unbiased processing is about understanding how we make sense of the outer world and interpret information about ourselves. Getting better adept with unbiased processing results in increased self-compassion when taking in difficult or negative information about ourselves, and ultimately results in the ability to better tolerate self-criticism.
3. Embracing yourself: Authenticity demands that reasoning for actions is not purely derived from a desire for reward or simply to please others, but in a way that deeply resonates with ourselves, even when those actions deviate from societal, familial, or socio-normative expectations (within legal reason of course!).
4. Opening up our relational orientations as much as possible: Fostering deeper, more honest, and ultimately meaningful relationships is contingent on being as open as possible with the people in our lives with whom we share important relationships with. This is done by letting those people see the real us, especially those parts of yourself that are not commonly discussed - which ultimately results in a better understanding of ourselves and those close to us, alongside an improved capacity for self-compassion and self-understanding.
5. Embracing growth and change: A part of feeling and ultimately being more authentic is getting through periods of not feeling authentic. However, this discomfort is a part of the process and should be embraced during our personal evolution toward becoming our authentic selves.

On a day-to-day basis, there are simple steps that can be intentionally taken that will support us in feeling, being, and ultimately developing into our most authentic selves, while still benefiting from and functioning within a hyperconnected world.

1. Limit social media use: This doesn’t mean deleting all of your social media, but rather using fewer platforms or spending less time on them altogether. Doing so removes you from a public zone of judgment, providing space to intentionally and deeply focus on understanding yourself and your interests. Limiting social media use also forces you to engage with the real and important relationships in your life, allowing for a more personal way to experience self-growth that is not influenced by an algorithm.⁷
2. Embrace mindfulness practices: Evidence-based mindfulness practices like meditation are a proven way to improve self-awareness due to their cultivation of skills related to unbiased processing and self-acceptance.⁸ Such practices empower us to better understand ourselves, including our needs, wants, aspirations, and moods.
3. Reflective journaling and expressive journaling: Reflective journaling provides opportunities to cultivate better self-awareness, while expressive journaling methods, like the Pennebaker method, equip us with tools to organize events that happen to us in our minds. These combined journaling practices facilitate unbiased processing, enabling us to more compassionately understand emotional events.⁹
4. Cognitive behavioral therapy exercises: CBT exercises help to rewire thought patterns, enabling us to process events in an objective manner.¹⁰ They also help us better understand our individual behaviors and actions, which empower us to identify opportunities to act in manners that resonate with us most “authentically.”
5. Seeking feedback: Seeking constructive feedback regularly from the people we trust most serves to foster stronger and more communicative relationships with those closest to us. Moreover, it also serves a dual purpose of calibrating our self-awareness and mechanisms related to unbiased processing, in an environment that is intended to be supportive.^{3, 4}
6. Setting personal boundaries: Setting healthy boundaries and learning to say no protects our time and energy from being overwhelmed by the demands of others. It is crucial for maintaining our authentic selves while cultivating relationships that are both healthier and mutually beneficial.²
7. Explore your curiosity: Engaging in activities that interest us, we genuinely enjoy, and find meaning in are crucial towards embracing growth and change, all while remaining true to ourselves.³ They are the building blocks through which we grow, find, and adapt ourselves, while also providing a grounding to who we authentically are now, and who we have authentically been throughout time.

Amidst the confusion and unpredictability of an increasingly complex world, authenticity is a stabilizing force that offers psychological grounding and a basis for shared realities. By being more authentically ourselves, we benefit everyone by directly contributing to a culture that actively fosters a more conscientious approach to life. 

Living authentically in today’s world is profoundly rewarding, albeit not without challenge; it involves a more active and continuous process than ever before of fostering self-awareness, objective self-assessment, genuine behavior, and close relationships. In navigating our increasingly interwoven personal, professional, and digital lives, we must aim to be adaptively authentic and continually evolving, all while staying true to our core selves. With these steps, backed by behavioral science, hopefully we can all be a bit closer to doing so.