How Implicit Biases Complicate Female Mentorship
“Do you even want a career?” my Chair pointedly asked me, after I (Yasmine) revealed I was pregnant and asked for an unpaid extended maternity leave. This question came after my Chair had explained to me she had put her baby in daycare at six weeks, and that 25 years later, said child was doing just fine. As a 29-year-old, early-career, tenure-track professor looking for mentorship and support, this was not one of my favorite conversations. I felt guilty for being pregnant, and that my concerns about returning to work after only six weeks were entirely dismissed. Years later, it worked out: I got tenure without even pausing the clock. However, I always wanted to go back and say, “You know, I could have really looked up to you and admired you; you could have helped me develop as a female academic and a female leader, but instead you made me doubt myself.”
I (Kim) had just returned from a very austere Army combat deployment to Afghanistan. Having spent the last three years in “trailblazing” roles, I wanted to start a family. I reached out to a mentor whose early career mirrored mine. She stated she was “surprised” at how “selfish” I was being, as my personal goals did not align with the professional expectations she had for me. She said I should be above all the “traditional” female roles, and that “my cannon was my child and my rifle was my husband.” I could not believe that a female mentor, who I presumed would understand my perspective, could make me feel like an absolute failure of a woman. It was not until seven years later that I reflected on the damage that conversation caused. I would not marry for another eight years, and to this day still have to overcome tremendous guilt for having personal desires that do not align with the expectations of others.
Both of these anecdotes are just that—anecdotes. Yet, they illustrate missed opportunities for meaningful mentorship between female professionals. In this series of articles, we explore why the female leader-subordinate relationship may have unique tension, and how this relationship can be improved with a renewed emphasis on mentorship.
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About the Authors
Yasmine Kalkstein
Yasmine is currently an Associate Professor of Behavioral Sciences and Leadership at the United States Military Academy at West Point, where she also serves as the Lead Integrator in the Character Integration Advisory Group. As a Fulbright Scholar, she spent a year working at the Medical Decision Making Center at Ono Academic College in Israel. She received her Ph.D. in Educational Psychology from University of Minnesota and her BA in Biopsychology from University of Virginia. She is interested in the fields of character and leadership development, medical decision making, education, and human-centered design.
Kimberly Kopack
MAJ Kimberly Kopack is an Officership Instructor at the United States Military Academy at West Point. She commissioned through the University of Pittsburgh Army ROTC program as an Air Defense Artillery Officer, with a 4-year branch detail to Field Artillery. She holds an MA in Leadership Studies from the University of Texas at El Paso.
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