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Being your authentic self in a hyperconnected world

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Jan 12, 2024

If you’re anything like me, you may find yourself occasionally feeling like you are processing your life in third-person, as if watching yourself in a movie. It can be difficult to juggle what may seem like disparate identities that we assume to navigate the different parts of our lives, like work, family, friends, even social media. In part, this is a normal aspect of the human experience as we must fulfill varying roles to countless people, whether that be as a mother, son, colleague, mentor, caretaker, and so on. However, in a world where the lines between our personal and professional lives – and now our physical and digital lives – are increasingly blurred, feeling like our “authentic selves” poses a serious challenge. 

If you are yearning to feel and be treated as a more authentic individual, you aren’t alone. This need grows even stronger when paid celebrity endorsers promise us products that can supposedly bring us closer to our “true selves,” but consistently fail to do so. Personal growth seems even more impossible when everything we do is permanently documented online for the world to see, with every mistake amplified. And if you are really anything like me, you probably feel paralyzed by the possibility of getting caught not putting your best foot forward – or, even worse, digitally documenting your life in a way that fails to capture the “real you.”

Why is it so difficult to feel authentic – and why is it even important?

Each day, uncertainty coupled with confusion seems to reach deeper into our being, as the world we inhabit becomes more multifaceted and fragmented.1 Where previously we could collectively rely on stable and unitary structures like family, religion, school, and our local community to inform us, today these systems are plagued by misinformation that fractures not only our understanding but our trust in them. As our lives become even more interconnected, it's impossible to identify one specific place to lay the foundation for building our identity. 

These blurry lines make the pursuit of our authentic selves more difficult. But no matter how elusive this may feel, it is still essential for our own sake that we strive to do so. Feeling inauthentic has been proven to make us also feel increasingly dissatisfied and anxious. On the flip side, embracing our authentic selves is shown to improve our overall well-being and benefit other psychometric markers like growth mindset and self-empowerment.2

Of course, to truly be authentic, we must answer the question: what even is our “authentic self?” It can be difficult to define exactly what authenticity is, because personalities are far from singular, and multiple things can be true for a single person who is constantly evolving. It is, for example, possible for a professed humanitarian to occasionally grapple with hateful thoughts towards fellow humans or to react unfairly under compromising circumstances (perhaps a poor night's rest). Another hypothetical contradiction is a sworn introvert seeking companionship, or conversely, an outspoken extrovert sometimes just wanting to be alone. The value of living and functioning more authentically is that we become more aware of the multifaceted features that make us up and are then able to integrate them into a cohesive self-structure.3

As a psychological state, authenticity is defined as a feeling people have when their behavior and experience are consistent with what they believe is their “true self” at any given moment.4 It is more of a subjective approach as opposed to an objective evaluation of who one truly is.5 Essentially, authenticity can be understood as the degree to which one is true to their own personality, spirit, or character, despite external pressures. Think of it as a powerful force that preserves our individual identity as we navigate our way through the world.

Living an authentic life is paramount to personal happiness and fulfillment. Remember that authentic individuals tend to experience a higher sense of well-being, exhibit a growth mindset, and feel a sense of empowerment in their lives. This, in turn, fosters resilience, creativity, and deeper relationships with others. In contrast, a lack of authenticity can lead to feelings of disconnection, dissatisfaction, and even mental health challenges.4

Our varying personal and professional lives each call upon different elements of our identities. In particular, our digital self, which we curate to attract validation by conforming to what we perceive to be online ideals, often clashes with the more nuanced elements of our identity.6 This dissonance leads us to feel inauthentic, as we struggle to reconcile varied facets of our self-concept. Overcoming this dissonance requires us to find a balance between the integration of these roles that feels genuine and true to our core values.

References

  1. Leppanen, S., Aunola, K., & Nurmi J. (2015) Authenticity, normativity and social media. Retrieved from: https://jyx.jyu.fi/bitstream/handle/123456789/46514/1/leppanenetalfinaldraft.pdf
  2. Krelling, R., Meier, A., Reinecke, L. (2022) Feeling Authentic on Social Media: Subjective Authenticity Across Instagram Stories and Posts. Retrieved from: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/20563051221086235
  3. Kernis, M., & Goldman, B. (2006) A multicomponent conceptualization of authenticity: Theory and research. Retrieved from: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2007-19538-006
  4. Gino, F., & Kouchaki, M. (2020) Feeling authentic serves as a buffer against rejection. Retrieved from: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0749597816305489
  5. Lenton, A., Bruder, M., Slabu, L., & Sedikides, C. (2012). Retrieved from: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1467-6494.2012.00805.x
  6. Ismail, S., & Latif, R. (2013) Authenticity Issues of Social Media: Credibility, Quality and Reality. Retrieved from: https://ir.unikl.edu.my/jspui/bitstream/123456789/1504/1/Authenticity%20Issues%20of%20Social%20MediaCredibility%20Quality%20and%20Reality.pdf
  7. Pandey, N. (2023) Social comparison in the age of Social media. Retrieved from: https://www.psychologs.com/social-comparison-in-the-age-of-social-media/
  8. Zheng, S., Sun, S., Huang, C., & Zou, Z. (2020) Authenticity and subjective well-being: The mediating role of mindfulness. Retrieved from: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0092656619301217
  9. Huberman, A. (2023) A Science-Supported Journaling Protocol to Improve Mental & Physical Health. Retrieved from: https://www.hubermanlab.com/episode/a-science-supported-journaling-protocol-to-improve-mental-physical-health
  10. The Decision Lab. (2021) Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Retrieved from: https://thedecisionlab.com/reference-guide/psychology/cognitive-behavioral-therapy

About the Author

A man with a short beard is staring directly ahead, wearing a dark patterned shirt with white anchors, and standing against a plain gray background.

Brice Gower

Brice is a Consultant at The Decision Lab. He is passionate about harnessing the benefits of technological innovation, artificial intelligence, and decision science to bring about equitable outcomes for the whole of society. Prior to joining The Decision Lab, he lived in the Netherlands while studying for an LLB in International & European law at Maastricht University, where his thesis proposed a global framework for taxing AI & robotics. In his spare time, Brice is an avid tennis player, running enthusiast, and passionate supporter of Croatian soccer.

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